The Fork in the Road
Less than 10 years ago we were at a family reunion with my immediate family. I heard through someone that one of my siblings was not “wearing their garments.”
I didn’t even notice. I didn’t even think about trying to decipher if anyone was or was not wearing them. I was at a family reunion, and I was there to spend time and have fun.
I threw out a simple question, one that we are taught as missionaries to say. It was about “the keystone” of our religion: The Book of Mormon. They answered in the positive, as I expected, and I didn’t probe further.
One year passed, and I heard that another one of my siblings was leaving the church. My initial feeling was one of betrayal. How could they do this to me? I immediately went to my best friend, my Dad. I asked what he thought of them leaving and he said, “well I have two choices here. I can either be upset or I can show them love.”
The fork in the road appeared. I had to make that same choice. It didn’t take me long to choose to love my siblings. I went and gave a hug to them and told them I’d love them no matter what.
I’ve heard way too many stories of people alienating loved ones due to political choices and/or faith crises. That breaks my heart. I feel for anyone who is in that boat. I will never regret that I made that decision to not hold it against my siblings for losing their faith.
Blood before belief. Family before faith. This would become my center of balance with how I approached my siblings who left.
One of the core teachings of the Mormon church is that you put God first. Above your wife. Above your family. I took this and flipped it on its head. Nothing would get between me and loving the people closest to me.
In the temple endowment, Mormons make “sacred” covenants. From the church handbook:
In the endowment, members are invited to make sacred covenants as follows:
1. Live the law of obedience and strive to keep Heavenly Father’s commandments.
2. Obey the law of sacrifice, which means sacrificing to support the Lord’s work and repenting with a broken heart and contrite spirit.
2a. Obey the law of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which means:
Exercising faith in Jesus Christ.
Repenting daily.
Making covenants with God by receiving the ordinances of salvation and exaltation.
Enduring to the end by keeping covenants.
Striving to live the two great commandments. These are to “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” and to “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37, 39).
3. Keep the law of chastity, which means abstaining from sexual relations outside of a legal marriage between a man and a woman, which is according to God’s law.
4. Keep the law of consecration, which means that members dedicate their time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed them to building up Jesus Christ’s Church on the earth.
My mom took it especially hard. When she heard about my two siblings leaving, she cried for hours. Why? Another core teaching is families are sealed to be with each other after this life, if they are faithful to their covenants and teachings of the church.
It took some time for my mom to let go. Each one of my siblings has a great relationship with my parents.
As the years passed from that time I realized — there are people out there who are like my siblings. Each one of them deserve to be loved, whether they believe or not.
That’s when I entered Mormon twitter. About 3 years ago I ventured into Mormon faith topics and discussions. What I discovered shocked me.
Until next time: Blood before beliefs. Family before faith.